Through Your Eyes
by demonwalker
Summary: Hikari knows now more of Shinji then anyone.But will she help him or will he fade away?
1. First Sight

_**Through Your Eyes**_

_**Chapter One**_

_**First Sight**_

In the darkness of her bedroom a young woman lay unsleeping as memories of the previous day flooded her mind. "Why did I follow?" she said to no one in particular. Her eyes starring lifelessly at the ceiling above her as they began to play again in her mind's eye…

She had thought she had lost the two boys as they ran towards the hills that lay just outside the city limits. She was leading the others to the evacuation shelter when she saw the two of them standing in the alley. She could tell by their jesters they where arguing, but over the screaming of the sirens and the panicked voices of the other students as they made their way to the disaster shelters, she couldn't hear them. Moving towards the two boys she started to call out to them moments before they turned and ran off, pausing a moment she took it as her responsibility and ran off after the two boys.

It was all she could keep up with them, she knew Touji was an athlete but and no idea that Kensake was in suck good shape. More then once she had lost track of the boys only to see the two climb over a wall or hop a fence. As the hillside grew in the distance she began to realize where the two boys where heading. Now here she was running the last few yards left between her and the boys who where looking into the city from half way up the hillside.

In the distance she could hear the thunderous claps of the Eva's automatic rifle as it sent volley after volley at the angel. "No! What are you doing!" echoed the exasperated cries from Kensake as she turned to see the Eva toppling backwards with the shards of its now broken weapon filling the air as the angel began it's counter attack. All thought of reprimanding the boys left her mind as she watched the battle in front of her.

Moving the last few steps to her classmates she watched as the side of a building rolled up like window blinds revealing a new rifle. Her breath frozen in her chest as she watched the Eva reach for it moments before the angel lashed out at the building it was using for cover slicing it into pieces. Her eyes locked on the sparking cable that had once been attached to the back of the Eva now wiping around like an out of control water hose. Her blood running cold as the Eva stumbled a few steps before the angel wrapped an angry reddish tentacle around its ankle. The blood draining from her face as the angel tossed the Eva into the air like a rag doll. Her eyes following as it began to fall its massive shadow slowly encompassing her and the two boys.

She barely had any time to react as insect took over forcing her into crouching position arms protecting her head in a futile attempt to shield her from any harm the giant would do. The ground around shook and rumbled as dust filled the air caused by the impact of such a massive thing hitting the hill side. Shaking and coughing in the dust she slowly looked around seeing the purple-black armor of the Eva all around her. Looking up she could see the Eva looking at her as the last of the dust cleared away, slowly standing she could see the two boys who where just as frightened as she was on the other side of the massive purple armored finger of the Eva.

"Why isn't he moving?" asked Touji.

"He can't! He can't move because of us." Replied Kensake

She jumped startled when the large white cylinder emerged from the back of the Eva stopping moments before high pressure jets of a reddish liquid sprayed into the air. Her eyes watching mesmerized as a hatch opened about mid way up and the angry voice of a women filled the air… "Get in, NOW!" She was off and moving before she realized what she was doing, climbing over the massive hand before grabbing onto the step rope and climbing as fast as she could.

Once inside she was surprised to see it was piloted by a child no older then herself. In fact it was the very same boy she had shown around the school just a few days before. He had been such a timid thing she was surprised he didn't jump out of his skin when the first ball rang starling him. Now he was sitting here piloting a machine of war, protecting the thousands that lived in the city. One after another the two boys climbed into cylinder the hatch closing behind them.

With the hatch closed it suddenly when pitch dark as all light from the outside world was cut off. In the darkness she could fell herself moving downward quickly as the chamber descended back into the Eva. As soon as it came to a stop they were bathed in a soft red light that seemed to come from everywhere at once. As she looked around trying to get adjusted to the strange place she found herself in she could hear the opening of a metal door moments before a wave of a reddish liquid washed over her. It happened so fast she didn't stop breathing but kept going finding she could now breathe only with more effort.

The three of them looked around as the walls of the chamber flashed a hue of colors before revealing the world outside. Her eyes moving to a small window that seemed to open from nowhere as people began talking, their voices coming from it…

"There's noise in the nerve interconnect!"

"Of course you've let foreign bodies into the entry plug, their noise in the nerve connections!"

"Shinji retreat to the b 4 entrance. Retreat for now…" Came the women's voice from earlier.

She looked over his shoulder as he flexed and unflexed his right hand as if trying to make his decision.

"She said to retreat. Hey new kid retreat." Came Toujis' voice.

She suddenly felt as if part of her shoulder had moved moments before one of the other female voices filled the plug…

"The progressive knifes been engaged!"

"No Shinji retreat get out of there!"

She could fell could fell her arm reach up over her shoulder and grasp at something as her hand closed. The slight humming vibration in her hand and the boys chanting filling her ears as she looked on…

"I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away…"

She watched as the numbers clicked away dropping below a minuet as the boy cried out and the giant suddenly began moving forward towards the approaching angel, sliding down the side of the hill as it went. The terrible fiery pain assaulting her as the angels' tentacles pierced through the Eva. Her own arms felt like they where moving as the progressive knife clenched in both hands was pushed into the red core of the angel causing sparks to fly as it buried its' self deeper and deeper into it's victim.

She watched mesmerized fighting back the pain she felt in her chest as a voice counted of the last few seconds before the chamber went dark and everything around her stopped. It was in that last instant that everything changed around her. She found herself standing at a train station watch as a man walked away from her as a light rain fell. "Daddy, why are you sending me away? Come back don't leave me!" she could fell herself say as the figure disappeared around the corner tears welling up in her eyes.

A flash of white passed over her and she found herself standing on a catwalk looking up at plate glass windows high above her. "Why am I here? Is this all you wanted from me?" came the words from her lips.

"I called you because I have a use for you." Replied a man she didn't recognize.

Her eyes moved to the girl who lay on the ground that she did recognize as Rei Ayanami. She was covered bandages and her arms was in a cast, her other arm had an I.V. connected to it with the other end hooked to a bag hanging form a tipped over gurney.

"Why do you have to be so cold…" she felt herself say.

With the passing of light she found herself back in the "plug" the images fresh in her mind, the feelings she felt burned into her soul. It was in that last second she could see and hear the angels core crack before both giants suddenly stopped. Both kept standing by their subsequent pushing against each other. In the dim light she could fell the once fiery pain now a burning ache.

It was hard to tell how long they had been there before everything started up again. A few times she had the sensation of being picked up and moved but shook it off as her imagination, only giving it her attention when the chamber came back to life before beginning to move upwards. As the liquid drained away and the hatch open they were greeted by a group of armed guards and where quickly removed and carried away. The last thing she saw was medical personal pulling the boy from the machine and putting him on to a stretcher.

Hours passed as she was interrogated about why she was there and what she had seen. Even after Kensake and Touji had been picked up by their respective parents she was keep there. As doctors poked and prodded her paying close attention to the fist sided bruises over her right side front and back.

It was late into the night when her father had come to final pick her. She was so tried after the day's events that she could barely keep awake as her father gave her a talking to about had happened. Asking what she thought she was doing and such. When she got home she could see her bed side clock that read 4:38 a.m and see gave a thank you sigh that she didn't have school today.

As she climbed into the bath she couldn't help but sniff her hand for the umpteenth time since getting out of the giant mecha. "Why does it smell like blood." she thought as she let the soothing fell of the hot water sink into her bones.

After finishing her bath she stood in front of her full body mirror looking at herself. She was a pretty girl around 5'3 or so. Her once coltish legs had taken on a more feminine look, giving way to her women's hips and slender mid drift. Her fingers traced over the two apple sided bruises over her ribs and when she turned to the side she could see a matching pair on her back at the same level. Sighing she finished dressing and climbed into bed.

Now here she was as first trickle of sun light peeking into her room as the previous days memories finished playing in her mind again. Only this time the sleeper had finally found her and as night came to a close so did her eyes, as Hikari Horaki descended into the world of dreams.

In his office Gendo Ikari and second commander read the report of the battle with the third angel and the results of the interrogations of the children that had been allowed into the Eva's plug. His lips crawling into an evil smile as he read the report on the girl know as Hikari Horaki…

That's it for the first chapter. I know I haven't written in a while but with school and all I haven't had time. Hope you enjoyed this one, and for those that are wondering yes I will have new chapter coming about every week or so maybe sooner if I have time.

Don't forget to review.


	2. Second Sight

**Through Your Eyes**

**Chapter Two**

**Second Sight**

**Based on characters created by and copyright by GAINAX.**

Hikari waited silently in the early morning hours before the other students would arrive as she went about her duties as class representative. In the distance she could see the first trances of the morning sun as it began to peek over the hills that surrounded the city. She was always the first to be there, arriving even before the teacher to prepare the class for the days lessons, and usually one of the last to leave making sure everything that needed to be done had had been before she headed home. And this day was no different from the countless many she had done before.

As the last few minuets before anyone else would arrive ticked away she thought back over the last week that had past since the attack. Listening as her peers talked about how wonderful it must feel to operate such a powerful machine, while many others complained about the latest wave of destruction caused by the giant. Her own once uncertain fear replaced with a kind of silent sorrow at knowing what they had to go threw, knowing each time they climbed into their machines they risked life and limb and knowing that with each battle they fought their reward was more and more of her follow students coming to hate them for damaging their favorite places in the vast city. Even the once overly enthusiastic military aficionado Kensake had been tempered by the experience.

Her slender fingers caressing the fading burses left behind from her own experience, as her mind drifted back to the moment she had received them. She somehow knew her connection to the machine had been a fragile one, paling to what Shinji must have to command such a thing and knowing the agony he must have felt made her stomach fell like a pit of nothingness. A whisper in her mind telling her for him there was never a "Good job Shinji" or "Thank you" merely a silent indifference that he had done anything at all. A part of her mind releasing that to his coworkers he may be nothing more then a tool to be thrown away when it was broken or no longer needed.

The image of the man she had come to realize may have been his father replying in her mind… "I called you because I have a use for you" where his coldly spoken words. By the way he spoke and acted she knew to him at leased Shinji was nothing more then another part of the machine, to be maintained and thrown away at it's owners will.

In her mussing she failed to notice the blue haired girl standing in front of her. Her red eyes looking down at the girl before her as she looked out at the world with a distant stare…

"Miss Horaki."

"Hmm…" came the sound from the brown haired girl as she looked up, the look in her eyes returning her to the here and now." Oh … miss Ayanami." She said surprised as the blue haired girl placed a letter on her desk, before turning and walking to her desk.

As she looked at the letter she could she her name written in the middle and a strange logo next to the word "Nerv" in the corner. As she carefully opened it lifting the flap she removed the contents and began to read. With each passing word she could fell her body going colder and colder till she reached the end… "During your lunch break you will be called to the office. A representative will be there at that time to answer any questions you may have and will ask for your decision."

The rest of the morning she found herself barley able to concentrate on any of her duties or the teacher. Her mind going over what she had seen before and trying to decide if she wanted to take on such a heavy burden. As the time for the mid day meal came she found herself moving through the halls as if on automatic as she went over everything a last time.

After being directed to the room where her father and principal where waited she took a seat next to her father in almost a half daze as the three waited for the representative to arrive. She sat there quietly remembering the strange sensations she had fell, the odd felling of moving yet not moving, felling the wind cooling her body yet felling water all around her.

After a few minuets later a knock on the door told her that her time to decide had nearly arrived…

Shinji sat quietly eating his lunch in the open courtyard of the school. The cherry tree blossoms slowly falling as the wind danced in the branches above him. The gentle breeze washes over him, bringing its welcome cool touch as he looked out at countryside before him, the hills and forest in the distance bringing him a few moments of peace.

As the end of period bell rang he gave a tried sigh and began gathering up his belongings before carefully standing. The pain lashing against his senses as he stood, his broken ribs still recovering from the trauma they had received from the latest angel. As he made his way back into the school he couldn't help but notice the extra bodyguards hanging around as they busied themselves trying not to look suspicions. One a woman pretending to go about her daily errands all the while keeping a watchful eye on him and those around him as he moved through the other students as the collective made their way back to their respective classes.

As he walked to his class he felt a wave of guilt as the other students talked about the places that had been damaged or destroyed in the attack. He had panicked when he saw the angel and because of it people had gotten hurt, but when he saw his fellow classmates looking at up at him in horror resigned himself to the fact that there was no way to avoid getting hurt without hurting others. So once they where safely inside the Eva and the calming feeling washed over him he knew what he had to do and did it. He had done his best, yet he felt saddened that others where hurt by his weakness.

Safely inside the class he watched as the last few students made their way to their seats. It was only when the teacher entered the room that he noticed that someone was missing. Pausing a moment as if wait for something he looked around before continuing the earlier lesson. It was then that he realized that the class representative Hikari Horaki had not returned from lunch.

"I wonder what happened to Miss Horaki?" he quietly said to himself.

It was only a few moments later that a message appeared on his window… "She was chosen as the fourth child. Dr. Akagi is speaking with her on if she will join of her own free will or not."As he read the message he took note of who had set it. There in the bottom was the senders address, it had been Rei.

For the rest of the day he sat wondering what they where telling her and how much they would be asking of her. Would they make her quit being the class rep.? As he thought more and more about it he began to realize that it was his fault that they had chosen her. If he hadn't reacted the way he did to the angel she would never have had to enter his Eva, they would have never know she could be a pilot. The thought that she would have to give up so much because of his mistake ate away at him.

It was hours after lunch when she finally returned, acting as if someone had drained her youthful energy away. Before taking her seat their eyes meet, he could see in them the resignation she felt as she accepted what was being asked of her now. The look was brief breaking when she turned to look at Rei who only looked back with an indifferent stair.

Hikari sat quietly looking at the sealed clear plastic bag beside her as the neon light cascaded down on her like a never ending waterfall. Inside the bag was her first plug suit, its dark lavender, white and black colors representing aspects of her personality. Today was her first day, today would be here first "sync" test. She was in the female locker room sitting quietly thinking over what was about to happen to her. She was going to be tested for her compatibility to the Evas, today she would learn whose back up she would be.

When she first arrived she marveled at the vast expanse that lay unseen beneath the city. The miles of endless forests and lakes stretching as far as she could see the scenery and expanse of greenery a welcome change from the endless gray walls and flashing lights on the city above. The breeze washing over her bring with it the smell of the cherry wood and oak trees, the birds flying in the distance whispering of a living world below and not some mad made illusion. The smell of the fresh cool air a welcome change from the seemingly stagnant and dirty smelling air of the city above.

Then as quickly as it had come upon her the view was gone, replaced with the endless maze of corridors and passageways that made up the bulk on the complex. She followed carefully the direction the guard had given her, seemingly revisiting the same passageways she had been down moments ago. When she finally reached her destination it was such a change from the passages that she had come from. The once emotionless labels for the various rooms and labs open to a much more user friendly area.

When she arrived at her destination she was greeted by a young woman in her early twenties working diligently at her station. The gentle hum from the various work stations whispering of the technological marvel spread out before her. On the far side of the room she could see the glass wall that separated the control room from the testing room, inside of which where a line of three red cylinder tubes similar to the one she had learned where called entry plugs.

She listened carefully as the women went over the objectives of the test and what they would be doing today. A nervous anxiety about climbing into such a small confining space, together the pair made there way to the first chamber only stopping to allow it to open freely. She watched as the top section of the plug opened a foot or so from the end then split down the middle as the two sides shifted coming to rest at the side of the plug to act as a step up into it.

With trebling hands she climbed into the depths of the machine taking her place at the controls. The two exchanged a nervous smile as the older woman said to the younger. "Don't worry Miss Horaki we'll be finished before you know it." And with those words spoken she watched as hatch quickly closed sealing her inside its metal depths.

The eternity of the few moments that passed seemed to last forever before a gentle glow filled the plug allowing her to see around her once again. As Hikari sat patiently she heard the metallic click off the entry plug as it began to fill with liquid, the reddish tint in the liquid washed over in moments. Unlike the first time she had been in this liquid she was prepared to it and had held her breath out of instinct. She looked around looking over at the video window that had popped up in her line of vision.

"Just breathe as normal Miss Hikari." Said the voice of the elder woman.

After a moments pause she took her first tentative breath relaxing as her lungs didn't scream, their panicked filled cries warning her of the lack of oxygen as she had expected. Instead she slowly relaxed as the liquid brought her the precise oxygen her body needed, the humming of the machinery and the gentle current in the chamber working together to drain away any fears she might have had about drowning. As the last bit of uncertainty was washed away she slowly tilted her head back opening her mouth allowing the liquid to flow through her unhindered as the last refuge of air that had been trapped in her closed mouth as she breathed through her nose slowly rose to the top of the plug.

'It tastes… odd, almost like…' she thought before the sudden taste of blood lashed again her senses as she got her first taste of the strange liquid.

"Alright Miss Hikari, we're going to start the test now." Said the doctor. "First, let's try Unit-0."

"Alright." Hikari replied as she listened to the tech crew in the back stating the progress of the connection. As she concentrated on synchronizing with the Eva like she had been told too. With her eyes closed Hikari sat there focusing as best she could on the task at, in the tiny window she could just make out the words of the others…

"Well, she's past the start up limit now, but she still a bit low still." Came a young woman's voice.

"Yes, but it's still a good start. At least we know she can pilot Unit-0 if the need ever arises." Replied the elder woman.

"So she's viable as Reis' backup at least correct." Said another woman.

"Yes, Major. Based on what I see so far she a viable backup for Rei for Unit-0, but I'll still need to run some further tests, but so far it looks workable."

"Ma'am her sync ration has peaked at fifteen point three percent and holding steady." Announced the younger woman.

"Not bad for her first time, aye Ritsuko." Came the Majors' voice.

"Yes as a mater of fact it is. Maya let's move on to Unit-1 shall we? Let's check her sync ration for Shinjis' Eva now." Replied Ritsuko.

"Yes ma'am."

All around her the lighting dim as the connection to the Eva was severed and the test plug returned to it's normal resting state. Hikari opened her eyes as the first hits of fatigue started to wash over her senses. Glancing down at the digital clock in the hand of her plug suit she was surprised to see that more than an hour had passed already.

"Hikari we can take a break if you want or we can move on to Unit-1 now?" asked the Major.

"I'm ok; I'm ready for the next one." She replied.

"You heard her, connect her to Unit-1."Said Ritsuko.

As the lighting grew around her again Hikari willed herself to focus on the task at hand…

Releasing a tried sigh Hikari stepped from the shower. She hadn't felt this tried in ages as she made her way to her bedroom. It was as if every fiber of her being had been giving it's all during those tests and she was glad to finally be here at home again. Looking out her bedroom window she could see the moon peeking over the distant hillside like a playful child sealing a peek as it started its nightly journey threw the nights sky.

As she made her to the bed, Hikaris' mind ran over the events of the last test one last time…

"How's it look so far Ritsuko?" asked the Major.

"Everything looks normal so far. Maya make the final connect to Unit-1, it looks like she's ready for the final connection now." said the Doctor.

"Yes ma'am."

As the last barrier between herself and the Eva came down Hikari found herself moving upward suddenly, the once dull view of the inside of the test plug replaced with the rapidly moving view the wall in front of her as a lift raised her up an unfamiliar shaft. As she came to a sudden stop it felt as if she was being pulled from her seat by the sudden deceleration, the seemingly endless walls of the shaft replaced by the view of the city around her. As she got her bearings the voice of a woman filled the plug around her…

"Ok Shinji you know what to do. Eva Unit-1 move out!" stated the voice of the Major.

In front of her stood an 'angel', the green bipedal monster stood looking her way as if confused as to what it saw. She could fell her right foot rising as she want to take her first tentative step, and the pressure of her weight barring down on the soul of her foot as it meet the ground again.

"It walking!" echoed the enthusiastic voice of the Doctor as she finished her first step.

Her left foot shifting as she started to take another step before she felt the front of her foot catch on something as she fell forwards. The thunderous crash on metal on concrete filled her ears as she felt her face hit the ground, the impact blurring her vision a moment and making her forehand sting.

"Get up Shinji!"

She could fell fear filling her veins as she felt herself being lifted by her head into the air, her feet now dangling beneath her. The 'angels' three fingered hand filled half her vision as it held her in the air it's free hand grasping her left arm at the lower arm, it's grip tightening as each second pasted. The pressure on it growing till it reached a breaking point as bone and flesh gave out under the assault, breaking the arm.

"The left arms been damaged!" stated a male voice.

Having had it's fill of her arm the 'angel' released it moments before a pounding force beat against her right eye. The glowing light in the palm of the giant fading then once again glowing brightly as her body shook against the force of another impact. The moaning and cracking of metal filled her ears as a dull ache grew more and more persistence with each flowing blow.

A searing white hot pain lashing against her as weapon burrowed threw her skull and pushed its way out the other side. The powerful thud as her back was slammed against a hard surface. The dull ache from her back completely over ridden by the stabbing pain from her wrist and the mind numbing pain shooting threw her skull as her head fell forwards no longer held up by the 'angels' weapon. Her remaining vision filling with her jetting blood as someone cried to her.

"SHINJI!"

"Miss Horaki. Miss Horaki, are you listening?" asked the doctor.

"Um… yes sorry ma'am." She replied in a daze.

"So how does it fell? Fell any resistance in the connection?" the doctor asked as she monitored the connection status.

"No ma'am."

The rest of the test had been rather uneventful. She didn't find herself looking through Shinji's eyes at some buried memory. Just the endless hum of the machinery around her accompanied by the dull ache of her arm and eye that slowly faded to near nothingness. The only thing that troubled her was a cold void that had washed over her when she first connected to his Eva. At first she passed it as jitters about being here again, but as the seconds turned to minuets and minuets to nearly an hour it began to garner more of her attention.

When she connected to Reis' Eva there was a distant felling that echoed within the connections making her fell somewhat removed from those who were speaking to and around her. As she had been around Rei she slowly came to recognize this as an echo of her emotions and personality. As she tried to focus on emptiness she heard distant nearly inaudible whispers. Whispers of children boys and girls alike mocking her, some accompanied with a fleeting pressure on her face and ribs. The single whisper growing too many, some of older and others of younger children, even some her own age mocking and belittling her till there seemed to be hundreds of them. With each new voice she heard the hollow felling enshrouding her seemed to pull at her, as it dragging her down into some unseen abyss.

As the voices faded they were replaced with a distant memory slowly coming forward to take the forefront of her mind attention. It was different then what she had felt early and before, it was not like reliving a memory, watching as it played out in front of her but was like a fading recollection of an earlier time. It jumped and skipped through time, as if time was a child's play ground you could move to and fro in. In it was a young girl whose age ran from about seven years old to around nine sitting in a bed, covers enshrouding her as she leaned against the head board smiling happily as she talked to Hikari, her voice oddly silent as the passage of time had spirited it away.

Her pale skin and sickly appearance hinting at her being unwell, with each jump her memory made she saw the girl in a different position on the bed, sometimes sitting up others lay down covered carefully by the blanket. Her face always smiling happy to see Hikari there, listen as Hikari read from a book to her, other times happily chatting away like good old friends. As time flowed by she watched as the girl grew older and more frail looking, her once fiery brown eyes now dull and tired. Her bright smiles only an echo of their former selves, and each day they slowly faded further and further away till she was looking into an empty room with an empty bed where the young girl had once been.

As the test came to an end and she climbed out of the entry plug listening as the doctor gave her the results of the test explaining that she would find out whom she would be acting as back up for in a few days, her mind kept being pulled to the last felling she had as she "remembered" looking through that door and into that empty room.

Trying to remember when and where she had seen the girl and what was her name as she sat on the train as it made its way closer to her home, she came to understand that must have been one of Shinji's memories. Remembering the hollow felling she felt when connected to his Eva had suddenly started to grow as she looked into the empty room.

Now lying in her warm bed looking up at the familiar ceiling she knew why he was always so distant to people, always nearly fearful of getting too close to them or of them getting too close to him. Having lost his mother, learning this from over hearing the doctor and the major talking about him, as well as his father abandoning him when he was young then watching perhaps as the only friend he had ever had slowly withered away in front of him had eaten away at him. Leaving him uncertain of himself with an emptiness that's eating away at what was left of his mind and soul.

As darkness crept over her senses she thought of how much more complicated her small world had become now. With that final thought she fell asleep, resting soundly as the nightly world renewed its everlasting dance in the city and in the wilds of the world.

Sorry about the delay on that chapter between classes and work time was tight. Halfway through next chapter have this week off for classes so I'll get it finished this weekend and try to get it posted before the 9th or 10th at latest.

Looking for a review/editor for here on out on this story and T.B.O.S. Send me and e-mail if you're interested.


	3. Emptiness Loneliness

Chapter 3

Emptiness … Loneliness

The week started like any other for Hikari, first to wake, first to class and first to linger. It was a time she used to gather herself, her precious moment alone in peace. The moment withering as the first of her classmates arrived. The girls chatting away with their usual gossip and boys, the boys bragging about their latest exploits and going on about the girls, the only ones not carrying on where of course Rei who rarely said anything to anyone and Shinji.

She glanced around looking for Kensuke and Tohji, but couldn't find the pair. She could tell by the way he was sitting that he didn't expect anyone to talk to him. After the incident with the latest angel the school grapevine had come down pretty hard on him, blaming him for nearly getting Kensuke, Tohji and she killed in the battle. No one she had talked to believed her when she told them as much as she could about what had really happened. How they shouldn't have been there in the first place and that he was doing the best he could giving the situation. Hearing them telling her how she could know if he was trying or not.

It had been nearly a week since the attack and what few people would go near him after the first attack would barley acknowledge his existence. As the teacher arrived she was resolved to at least try to get to know the boy, nobody should have no one to talk to least of all someone in his position.

The day seemed to creep by for her as the professor went on about second impact, she was at least grateful that he said moved on a bit even if it still was the same over all subject. By mid day she had been ready to spend her break with him, talking about anything that he might want to discuss, but when the teacher asked her to stay a moment she lost track of him. With her official duties out of the way Hikari found herself wondering between the different areas the students would stop and eat at not finding him at any of them. She had nearly given up when she spotted him in the back courtyard.

As she approached she could see him as he ate, his motion robotic and precise, his face void of any sign emotion, surpassing that of even Ayanamis' face. It was as if he had surrender to what he saw was his fate that he'd started to give up what little hope he clung to. Seeing him like this sent a chill down her spine the memory of her mothers face when the doctors said they couldn't do anymore for her flashing through her mind, remembering the felling she said looking into that empty room where the girl had once been living in.

She could almost fell the air growing cold around her as she moved closer, as if his lifeless actions where draining away the very warmth from the air. "Hi Shinji can I join you?" asked putting as much friendliness and cheer in her voice as she could.

"If you wish." was his emotionless reply, his motions pausing only a moment to reply before resuming.

"Great!" she said sitting next to him in the shade of oak tree.

Opening her bento she glanced out the corner of her eye watching as his mechanical movements continued. Had he been alone so long he didn't recognize her trying to be friendly with him?

Signing her rested her hands on her bento looking down with closed eyes as she spoke. "Your wrong you know," she started, felling him freeze before she continued "your not just part of that machine. Not just another circuit or motor that divers it onward. You're a real person Shinji." She said somewhat melancholy.

"I'm… not so sure anymore." were his chilling words, her blood freezing in her veins at this realization.

"Then what about that little girl! You came to see her everyday! You talked with her, played games with her, even read her favorites books to her! Would a machine do that for a dieing child?" Her words filled with a little anger and concern.

"I … don't know any more Miss Horaki. I don't know if it even matters that I'm not a part of Eva anymore."

"How could you say that?" She said looking away from him_. 'How could he be so empty.'_ she thought. "Would a machine have saved us?" she asked. "Of course not, it would have kept fighting crushing us without a second thought!"

"But you did." She said looking away from him. "You opened the plug and let us inside to protect us." Her left hand covering the faded wounds to her ribs "You risked your life to save us, and that's something no machine can do Shinji." She said moments before the sires scream filled the air announcing the arrival of another angel to the city.

Hikari was in the operations room now watching as the personal moved about the stations busily…

"The target's passing over Tonasiwa." updated Shigeru.

"Unit-1 is beginning launch sequence." Confirmed Makoto,

"Releasing primary lock bolts."

"Lock bolts released." Confirmed Shinji

"Removing secondary restarts"

"Roger"

"The target is now intruding into Lake Eshino air space."

"Eva unit-1 is ready for launch!"

"Launch Eva!" commanded Misato.

From her vantage point Hikari watched as the blip that was Shinji's Eva rose quickly through the vertical passageways that lead to the surface. The bright holographic display filling her vision as he looked up helplessly…

"We're detecting a high energy reaction inside the target." Stated Shineru his voice somewhat confused.

"What you say!" the purple haired captain said her voice filled with shock.

"The energy charge is accreting and massing upon it's self!"

"It can't be!"

She watched helpless as Shinji rose the last few meter to the surface unaware.

"Look out duck!" yelled the captain as the energy beam cut through the skyscraper between it and the Eva.

Her eyes frozen to the screen as she watched the beam start to bore its way into the Eva. Watching as the metal armor peeled away as it dug deeper into the Eva. Her hands trying desperately to block out the pain filled screams of Shinji as he was boiled in the plug from the sheer heat, his body racked with pain as he felt the relentless pressure of the weapon boring through his flesh.

"NO Shinji!"

Watching horrified as the lift started moving downward. Watching as the beam cut a line up his body as the Eva descended. A sick felling welling up in her stomach as she made her way to the cage. By the time she made it the cage he had been unloaded and was being moved to the medical wing of the base as various personal checked him as they went.

Her view of him blocked when she came to the door separating the hallway from the intensive care wing. His battered body still fresh in his mind, the angry red mark on his chest as if he'd been burned. The line left as the beam was interrupted moving up his chest just missing his neck as it went over his shoulder was a weaker red more like a sun burn then the wound on his chest.

She was there when he was wheeled into his room, looking into the room as he recovered in the coffin like device. The distant sound of the machinery dampened by the wall and glass between her and his room, her hand pressing against the glass as a slow trickle blood snaked its way out of his nose and across his cheek.

"_I … don't know any more Miss Horaki. I don't know if it even matters that I'm not a part of Eva anymore."_

His last words to her echoed in her mind as she looked at him. Something about the way he had said it worried her. It was like he didn't think he was a person anymore, that he had started to believe he was a part of that machine and nothing more then that. That he'd given up a part of himself.

'_Why Shinji?'_

She was at the temporary base now hidden in the mountains. The hastily assembled counterattack was in it last stages of preparation. The glow and hum from the light and the sound of all that electricity around filled the air as they where given their final briefing before the battle.

"Rei, you in Unit-0 will snipe the target while Hikari will provide cover for you in unit-1, this arrangement will be used due to Reis' greater experience piloting Eva and slightly higher sync ratio. As for defense you with be using a this shield, with its electromagnetic base coat section two guaranties it will last at least thirteen seconds. Rei you must hit the target on the first shot. We may not have time for a second one.

"Yes doctor."

"I know you haven't had time to full familiarize yourself with the Eva yet Miss Hikari, but with Shinji still unconscious from the last attack you will take his place for this mission as his acting backup. We have no other choice in this matter.

"I understand ma'am."

"We will be commencing our attack soon so board your Evas'."

Looking out through the giants eyes Hikari looked towards the city she called home in the distance. In the depth of night the only light emulating it was the soft glow from the Angel as it bored its way into the Geofront. The uneasy felling of being in such a machine still lingered within her, more so of what she may see then what she had to do, knowing she might find another piece of Shinji hidden with here made her uneasy.

As they took their positions, part of her mind wandered back to the conversation she had with Shinji earlier that day. The part of her mind that was focused on it buried in the back wondered about why he seemed so empty, why he always felt so distant from everyone around him.

She listened as the Major counted down the seconds till the rifle was charged to fire. Her body moving as she saw the pale blue light start to grow from within the Angel. Her massive foot crashing to the ground peeling up dirt, stone and plant life as it slide over the ground before finding firm footing. Her arms rising lifting the makeshift shield till the only view through a small slit. The outside of her arms suddenly growing warm as the angels beam weapon lashed against the shields' casing, the heat slowly warming her skin.

The once starlit sky now painted a bright purple hue as the coating started to burn away. The force of the beam pressed against her, making her lean back her butt pressing hard against the back of one foot as pushed back from her crouching position. Some energy from the blast skipping off the barrier between her and the Angel as the heat grew more intense threatening to burn away her flesh.

"Five more seconds." Said the monotone voice of Rei as a small window opened revealing her.

Hikari watched as the heat started to bend and melt parts of the shield. The outside edges turning into molten metal and flying away, listening as the Major counted the last few second as she summoned all the strength she could and slowly began to raise. A sudden burst of heat lashed against her lower legs as the rifle fired. Watching as the second beam flew through the air running parallel with the Angels'.

Seeing and felling the shields last tattered remains burn away, as a wall of heat pressed against her as she crouched using her arms and legs to take the brunt of the blast. Her senses crying out as the flesh on her limbs felt like it was burning away as she tried to protect her body from the blast. The searing pain filling her as she watched the Evas' beam inch closer and closer, felling the pressure dissipate as the blast cut through the Angel.

Her body collapsing forward now that the beam was gone, her body coming to rest, her hands and knees on the ground as her weight came to bare on her hands and legs. Watching as the melted armor poured down her arms coving her undamaged fingers dipping to the ground as it went, mixing with the molted metal from her once armored legs. The unprotected flash beneath them covered in deep burns. Her armored head rising as she watched the Angels' lifeless body fall onto the city as darkness consumed her.

Hikari awoke to find her to find herself in an open field surrounded by a distant mountain line. Sitting up she looked around confused as to find herself here as her last memory was looking up at the falling Angels' corpse. Yet there where no signs here of a battle, more over no signs that humans had even been to this place before. As she stood she caught the glimpse of a person ahead of her only her head and shoulders visible above a dip in the ground.

As she moved closer she was able to get a better look at the woman in front of her as she looked out over the valley before her. She was young maybe in her mid twenties with short brown hair neatly cut just short of her shoulders. Her white lab coat danced with the gentle breeze her short hair mimicking the action. As she approached her the woman turned to face her vanishing before turning fully.

With the woman now gone she found herself in the Eva cage facing the giant that was Unit-1.It's massive eyes focusing on her as it spoke…

"**You are the one who has seen threw 'his' eyes are you not**." It asked its deep voice vibrating the walkway beneath her forming tiny waves in the red liquid around it.

"Shinjis'?" she asked her voice shaking.

"**Yes. You have seen what we have seen. You have felt what we have felt. Know what he knows, and lived what he has lived. Then you know what we know. That he is fading away from us and that he soon will be beyond our grasp**."

"He doesn't think he is to know and live what others have…" she said sighing before continuing. "He thinks that he only exists to pilot his Eva and nothing more."

"**Yes. He has never know anyone that gave his life a meaning other then her. Thus with her passing he lost the only thread that bound him to this word. As he grew he found no new threads to grasp onto and is now fading away found others."**

In an instant the view around her changed again to the now familiar room where Shinji had spent many a day…

"We cannot let this happen." Whispered the young girl voice "I once gave him propose, a reason to exist. Now he believes he has none other then to pilot Eva, and if need be to die in Eva.

Once again Hikari was in that green field now looking at that woman she had seen before. Her face filled with concern and worry.

"I can no longer help him as I once did," She said smiling softly "you must help him now.

The three now shared the field with her, the little girl standing next to the woman smiling as the woman rested her hand on the girls shoulder. The shadow cast by the Eva covering them all as it knelt behind them looking down at her.

"**This we leave to you."**

When Hikari came to she found herself lying in a bed at the hospital. When the nurse that came to check on her she was surprised to find she had been there for two days before she woke up. The flesh on her arms and legs still ached and upon further inspection she found they had a slightly reddish hue to them but otherwise looked normal.

She was glad to be back in her bed later that day. Despite having been asleep for so long she felt so very tried. When she had gotten home her sisters where happy to see her again and had filled her in as to what had happen over the last few days. Nozomi telling about all the various things she had done at school and at home, Kodama filling her in on the events at her own school, and filling in some of the gaps in from what had happened while she was away.

The two often talked about the different goings on in each others lives and even after her placement as a pilot this hadn't changed much. Kodama had seen Shinji at the hospital the day she had been admitted but hadn't seen him in any of his classes since then. When she had came to the school that day she had over heard some of the other students in her sisters class commenting on how he hadn't been there in a few days at that he must have finally understood no one wanted him here.

Having been told of his past from what her younger sister had found out about him she knew that this withdraw from others was a further step towards his realization that he was something less then human. When Hikari told her he thought of himself more and more as just 'part of the machine" she wasn't sure what she had meant by it. With her placement as a pilot there where some things they could no longer speak of, but she like most of the younger people in the city had heard the rumor that he was the pilot of the giant mecha that had been seen in the city during Angel attacks fighting the attackers. So she took it that it was the machine her sister had spoke of.

When she had seen him he had been walking past her sisters' room that first day. The bandages on his shoulder clearly visible under his shirt, but what concerned her most about him was the look in his eyes, the way the tiny flicker of light in them everyone had seemed to fade away almost to nothingness as she past him. How he barely acknowledged her when she told him it wasn't his fault she was here. How the air around him seemed to emanate an air of resignation and hopelessness. He was like a man with no other purpose in life but to fight, live knowing that with each punch and kick he made to the enemy the people he bleed to protect cursed and spat his name, knowing that when and if he died in battle they would all fell revealed that he was finally gone. Knowing that his only use in life was to live and die in the worst way anyone could, to life and die forgotten as if he was never there to begin with. She watched as he turned and walked away a void filling her chest as he did, watching as he move silently as if the very air failed to notice him, moving silently as if he was a phantom, silent and forgotten to the world.

"He has no hope in life Hikari. All he has is his emptiness and loneliness." Kodama had told her. "And soon he may not even have them anymore…"

She knew it was true, they where all he had and had ever known save a few brief moments that where no more to him then a fleeting dream that had been long since spirited away.

'_Sometime there are people who can only exist because of another Hikari. Without this they fade away like the morning mist, as if they where never really there to begin with_.' Her mother once told her.

This was the last thought Hikari Horaki had before the gentle sound of slumber enshrouded her in it's embrace.

**And so ends chapter 3 of Through Your Eyes. Please review.**

**P.S. If anyone is interested in being a prefreader for this story and B.O.S.N. Contact me.**

**Next Chapter…**

**To Touch What Is Frozen…**


	4. To Touch What Is Frozen

**Chapter 4**

To Touch What Is Frozen…

Based on characters created by and copyright by GAINAX.

It had been a week since the Fifth Angel attacked and Hikari had barely caught a glimpse of Shinji in that time. The only time she did was the fleeting moments when they would see each other in passing at Nerv. He looked different than he did before the angel attack; less real somehow. He hadn't been in class for days and now she had been given the task of bringing him the class work he had missed.

Now she was here, standing in front of his residence, trying to decide if she wanted to really be here. The look in his eyes the last few days was still fresh in her mind; the empty distant gaze, the lifelessness of them, and the look in them when he first saw her again, her skin still a pinkish rue from the attack. Her arms and legs a reminder to him and he looked at them as if he had failed somehow. After that, he avoided her as if trying to escape the reminder that she brought to him.

The sound of the bell echoed in the apartment as she pressed the doorbell; the soft chime whispering through the door as she waited silently for the answer. When the door finally opened she was greeted by a tipsy Misato Katsuragi…

"Well if it isn't our newest little pilot. What can I do for you Miss Horaki?" the woman asked her words slightly slurred by her mildly drunken state.

"Um… I came to drop off Shinji's missed work."

She froze in place as the woman leaned in close, her face nearly touching her own. She could see the slightly glassy look in her eyes as the older woman starred back at her.

"Came here to see your little boyfriend, have we?" Misato teased her with a cheshire cat grin on her face.

"What… no … I… I just came by to deliver his missed work, that's all." She replied, shocked by the brash comment. '_Maybe_' her mind wondered as the image of her and Shinji flashed in her mind's eye, seeded by the woman in front of her.

Misato watched the girl in front of her for a moment, as the comment about being his girlfriend made her stammer and then blush as the thought took root in her mind. As his guardian, she was well aware of the unusual connection to him that Hikari and he had after her fist encounter with his Eva. The fact that she had made such a strong connection to both Shinji and his Eva was the one of the main reasons she had been chosen as his back up pilot. Ritsuko had reminded her on a few occasions recently of the mental backwash that was part of piloting the Eva's. Thus armed with this knowledge, Misato had tried teasing Shinji in a bit of fun, but in his present state he never really took the bait like he used to. She was glad to see her skills were still as sharp as ever as she brought them to bear on the young woman in front of her.

"Well don't just stand there!" Misato said, playing the part of the agitated drunk watching, as the girl before her was drawn from her day dreaming and digested the idea of being his girlfriend; her cheeks a filling with a faint rosy hue.

'_His girlfriend' _Hikari thought as she entered the captain's home. It was not at all an unpleasant idea to her. She knew Shinji was a gentle caring person; not only from his memories, but from being in the same class as him and before he started to really change.

"Shinji!" Misato yelled. "You have a guest!" she finished before turning towards Hikari again. "Now you two love birds play nice now." She whispered to her before walking back towards the kitchen, laughing softly to herself a she went.

"Sometimes there are people who can't exist without another…" whispered Hikari, as her mother's long forgotten words took the forefront of her mind_. 'Maybe that's what he needs? Maybe it's all he's ever needed.' _She considered.

"How can I help you Miss Horaki?" Shinji asked, pulling her out of her silent consideration.

"I brought over the class work you've missed this week." She said, reaching her arms out and offering the small stack of pages and note books to him. Her eyes catching a brief glimmer of something in his eye before it faded.

- - -

As Shinji looked at her, he couldn't help but notice the injury to her out stretched arms. '_It's your fault Shinji! Look what happened to me because of YOU!_ He could almost hear her say.

"You don't need to concern your self about that Miss Horaki, I will not be returning" said Shinji missing the saddened look that washed over her face.

"You're going to class Shinji, I'll make that an order if I have too" warned Misato from the other room

He mentally groaned as he heard her. What was the point now? His only purpose was to pilot Eva. This point delivered all the way home by those around him, after all this is all he was. What was the point of gathering knowledge that which would have no barring on his ability to pilot and would limit the time he could spend further training. After all, this is all they wanted him to do, right?

As he reached out to grab the reoffered items, his finger tips brushed against the soft sensitive skin on the top of her hands and Hikari's already rosy cheeks deepened in color at the innocent touch.

'_Why's she blushing_?' **'_Cause she embarrassed to be touched by someone like you that's why!_' **_'This pretty girl is blushing at us?_' He thought as his old and new selves fought inside his mind. Shinji though never showed any outward sign as his face remained static.

"I could help you go over it so you'll be ready for class on Monday." Hikari volunteered cheerfully. Her face beaming as she did so.

"I don't thi…"

"That sounds like a good idea." Misato said, cutting in. "That way your both prepared and you're following Ritsuko's advice."

"Well there you go Shinji, two birds with one stone." Hikari said cheerfully, in support of the idea.

"Alright, let's begin then." Shinji replied before turning and walking towards the living room.

'_Yes!'_ thought Hikari as she followed after him.

In the other room, a grin grew over the face of Misato Katsuragi as she watched to two teens walk by. "Am I good or what?" she whispered to the warm water penguin looking up at her.

"Wark" replied Pen Pen as he looked up at his mistress. '_Right_' he thought silently as he turned and walked back to his own little apartment.

- - -

Hikari was surprised at the rate of progress they made as they literally ran through the work that Shinji had missed. She was impressed at how fast he was able to acquire the new information. At the rate he was going he'd be caught up by the end of the night, but it was how he went about it that worried her the most. It was so lifeless, even his answers to the assigned questions where devoid of any hint at the writer's personality. No sign of the boredom or contempt you'd expect from someone given work that was this easy for them. The wording and writing looked and read like it had been done by machine. Even as he explained things that she wasn't a hundred percent sure of, it was like listening to a robot describe art or music.

It pained her to see him acting this way. She could still remember clearly the playfulness he had showered the young dieing girl with. The simple and good-natured things he'd done for her; putting her in stitches one moment and then making her feel like the characters in one of the books he'd read to her. Seeing her shiver slightly as frightening part of the story filled her minds eye, watching as she blushed as a romantic scene enveloped her. He'd been so full life then, but the events of his life since then had turned that once bright flame into an ember flickering in the nights wind.

She was a little surprised when a small clock began to chime, telling all who heard it's melody that it was six at night. Hikari looked up and out the window across from them a little startled. She hadn't noticed that it was getting so late and her father and sisters are probably worried sick about her by now.

Hikari was debating whether to not to tell Shinji that she needed to head home when he surprised her by standing and making his way to the kitchen suddenly.

After a moments pause, she had found herself following him and made her way to the apartment's kitchen. Tentatively, she peered around the corner as she heard someone moving about busying themselves with preparing a meal. With her vision now unobstructed she watched as Shinji went about gathering the needed ingredients from various places. Hikari could also see the boy's guardian working silently at the table with various papers scattered across it.

"Miss Katsuragi would it be alright if I called home?" Hikari asked meekly.

"Hmm… yes of course, go ahead." the woman replied using her pen to point towards the phone, her eyes never leaving the papers in her hand.

"Thank you ma'am."

Hikari dialed the number carefully, watching Shinji and listening as the phone rang before her older sister answered. When Kodama picked up the phone, Hikari trying to focus her attention in talking with her sister and turned her back to the pair as they went about their work in the kitchen. She could almost see her sister's wicked smile as Hikari told her where she had been all afternoon.

"Oh… spending some time at your little boyfriends house today Hikari?" teased her sister.

"It's… it's not like that. I was just helping him caught up on his studies, that's all." She said nervously her checks burning at her sister implication.

"Ah-hmm, and what your you two studying I wonder." Her sister said mockingly "Biology maybe." The elder Horaki teased.

"Kodama!" said Hikari, her voice rising slightly catching the attention of Misato who raised an eye brow. Hikari's ear was filled with the sound of her sister laughing.

"What? Alright. Here's father." Kodoma said into the phone, her voice carrying a hint of amusement.

She listened as her father asked her where'd she been and why she had not contacted them sooner. After pressing her for an answer, he asked to speak with the boy's guardian.

"Um… Miss Katsuragi, my father wants to speak with you." Hikari told the woman as she offered her the phone.

Taking the phone from her, Misato looked at the young girl with a hint of annoyance on her face, making Hikari totally miss the look of amusement in her eyes.

"Katsuragi here… No sir, she's been here all afternoon… Yes, I've been here as well… No sir, he's been at NERV all this week and she brought over the work he had missed and offered to help him get caught up… No sir it's no trouble at all… Yes that would be fine… Yes she's welcome to stay for dinner if that's alright with you… Yes sir I'll make sure she gets home before then… Oh, and while I have you, we will need to borrow her next weekend…No sir just NERV business… Around early to midday Monday at the latest… I'm sorry sir I'm not authorized to say at this time."

Hikari stood there quietly listening as she tried not to pry as Misato spoke with her father. Hikari's eyes followed Shinji as she waited patiently. She watched as he boiled noodles while preparing the squid and prawns; her eyes following the smooth and fluid motions as he prepared the nightly meal almost not noticing that Misato had finished with the phone.

"Shinji, Miss Horaki will be joining us tonight." She told him.

"Yes ma'am." He said before gathering the extra ingredients needed before continuing where he had left off.

"Your father said it would be alright for you to stay a few hours longer if you like, but he wants you to call next time you stay out this long." Misato told her as she hung up the phone.

"Thank you ma'am."

"It's no trouble and since you're both here, I will tell you now. Next Friday we will be leaving at zero nine hundred. We will be heading to meet the North Atlantic fleet which is transporting Unit 02 from Germany. In addition to the third Evangelion, we will also be receiving an additional pilot. Shinji, Hikari you will be joining me. It'll take a few hours to get to the naval base where we will be switching to a helicopter for the last leg of the trip, which will take three hours. So bring something to do or read. It'll be a long trip." She informed them.

"Yes ma'am." Replied the two.

The smell and sound of the squid & prawns filled Hikari's senses as he placed them into the wok. The sound of the meat as it began to sizzle filled her ears, the scent of the seafood cooking, filled her nose and reminded her how hungry she was.

Taking a seat, Hikari watched Shinji as he moved around the kitchen. It was something a kin to a treat for her watching someone else cook. Since her mother passed away, she had taken over her mothers duties; mostly in the kitchen as neither her father nor any of her other sisters could cook. While she had a talent for it and enjoyed cooking, it had become more and more of a task for her and had started to lose its appeal. Yet as she sat there and watched as Shinji busied himself, the sights and sounds of the meal he was preparing reminded her how much she really did enjoy cooking.

"It's one of the only things that haven't changed about him since I've known him." Misato told her, her voice just barley audible. "It's the only time he seems to be alive again." Her eyes looking up from her paperwork.

Hikari nodded as he added the vegetables to the food in the wok. His movement losing the mechanical tone to them making him look more alive then he had all afternoon.

"It's almost ready Misato." He said his voice still void of emotion.

Together, the two cleared away the papers, putting them aside. Hikari watched as Shinji added the noodles and last ingredients then helped him set the table. She smiled a little when she saw his face and could almost see that tiny flickering ember grow brighter in his eyes as he went about his task.

'_Maybe there's still hope for him.'_ She thought smiling.

Following Misato's instruction, Hikari sat across from where Shinji would be sitting at the western style table. The pair watched as Shinji placed a warm pad in the middle of the table before setting the food out on a large serving plate so they could each take as much or little as they liked.

"Looks like he's starting to come back to us a little." Misato said, looking right at Hikari. There was a pause as she waited for him to turn away before leaning closer to Hikari. "You're the only one I've heard of that he talks with." A devilish smile crossing her face as she continued. "I think he's taking a shine to you." She added teasing the girl.

Hikari's cheeks burned as the young woman again implied that she was his girlfriend. Not only had the boy's guardian teased her about how open he was to her compared with the others but her own sister thought she had come here to visit her boyfriend. All these implications where starting to get a little embarrassing for her.

'_Why not? He's cute, gentle, caring; likes to cook as well and you know more about him then anyone else.' _A part of her said_. 'And besides if you won't then who will.'_

'_But …' _she began to contest but she knew it was right. Besides, he needed a friend and if something grew between them, then all the better.

'_And besides we both know where your imagination brings you when you think of him sometimes.'_ It teased her with the mental images coming back to her making her shiver a little.

A wicked smile grew across Misato's face as she saw the girl tremble. It was looking more and more like Ritsuko's impression of the girl was right on. She hadn't noticed it herself till Ritsuko had told her, but it looks like her friend was on the money yet again. But would it really play out that way?

The aroma of the freshly cooked food washed over her senses as Hikari placed some of the food onto her plate. The delicious smell of stir-fried vegetables and seafood brought joy to her nose. As the others began eating, she took a little of the food in her chopsticks and brought it to her lips.

As the flavor touched her tongue, Hikari sighed heavenly. _'It's so good.'_ She thought. Hikari hadn't tasted anything this good in a long time. The way the tastes danced together in her mouth was delightful, and it had the perfect balance of flavors for this type of dish. While she liked Yaki-udon, it had never tasted this good before. He really was a good cook.

They ate quietly as she enjoyed every bite she had put in her mouth. She was even more surprised at how well the dessert he'd made tasted. It had the perfect level of sweetness to it that added to over all experience of the meal; the way it danced on her taste buds and made her tingle inside. It made her wonder that if his cooking was this good before he put himself into his food preparation. Hikari could scarcely imagine what it would be like if he did.

- - -

Hikari and Misato were sitting in the living room chatting while Shinji cleaned up in the kitchen. When they had finished eating, Misato had asked to speak with Hikari in private. Now the pair was sitting discussing a topic Hakari had given much thought to recently.

"Dr. Akagi tells me that she found something most interesting in your last sync test with Unit 01 today." Misato told the young pilot as she idly took a drink from her beer.

"Um… and what would that be Miss Katsuragi?" she said nervously.

"I have a feeling that you already know what I'm referring too Miss Horaki." She started looking to see if Shinji was within earshot. "How you've been syncing to not only the Eva but to its pilot's personality as well. Is that true?"

"I'm … I'm not sure what you mean." Hikari replied, looking away from her.

As the young girl looked up, she could see the intense look in the older woman's eyes as she starred at her a moment before speaking,"You've seen some of his memories haven't you?" her voice caring a sharp edge to it.

Hikari was cornered now. She hadn't said anything out fear of what might happen if she did. But now it looked as if they knew she saw some of Shinji's troubled past. She looked up and watched as Misato leaned towards her from her sitting position across the way from her. Her face hard as stone, eyes boring into hers as if probing her soul.

Her features suddenly became softer as she relaxed again. "There's not much we at NERV can do for him about those things. Then you add to it how others treat him, especially the other students and his co-workers and it's no wonder he's becoming the way he is now." Misato told her, her head dropping as she worked the knots out of her neck before continuing looking up at Hikari as she did. "Although, he seems to open up towards you, so as his guardian I'd like to know what you think about him. If you don't mind? Given your unique insight."

"He … he's so empty inside. Shinji tries to push away all the things that hurt him from his past but they just devour him. He believes that all everyone wants him to do is pilot Eva till he's not useful anymore. He thinks that when that happens you'll throw him away like a broken piece. He thinks everyone looks at him as an unsavory part of the machine one that they'd rather be without but need for the moment. He wants to be useful to someone so much so that nothing else matters to him." She explained.

"I see." Misato replied leaning back, resting against the back of her chair.

"I forgot till a little while ago, but my mother once told me that there are some people that can't exist without another person. I think Shinji's like that."

"So he needs someone to define him. Is what you're saying right?" Misato asked.

"A little. More like he needs something to care for. To help him give himself value and purpose, something other than piloting Eva anyway. Like he did when he would visit that dieing girl when he was growing up."

"Oh... don't think I knew about that." Misato said, listening as Hikari told her about those times. "I see what you mean then."

"By being there for her, Shinji felt he had a value, a purpose in life. But after she died he started to drift, looking for anything that could be his. When his father called on him, Shinji was angry that the man that had so callously abandoned him, wanted to see him. Shinji saddened when he found out that all his father wanted was for him to pilot. He resigned himself to that fate." Hikari sighed as she looked over towards the boy, watching as he placed the last of the dishes in the proper place.

"Then why has he changed recently?" Misato asked "When you're around, he acts differently. More like he did when I first meet him."

"I don't know? He's been avoiding me the last few days. When I first came here, he looked at how my arms are…"

"I think he likes you." She told the younger girl. "I bet he thinks he's failed you and that's why he keeps avoiding you."

Hikari's cheeks warmed as she heard those words. Ever since she told her sister about him, Kodoma had been teasing her about him. At first, she was uncertain how to react to that, but as the seed that Misato had planted in her mind began to take root Hikari began to realize that it wasn't a bad idea. She could almost picture them together in her mind, even if they weren't boyfriend/girlfriend in a romantic sense. She'd have a new confidant and he'd have someone who didn't see him as a means to an end.

"Well it's almost time for me to get you back home. So let's grab Shinji and head out." Misato told her.

_- - -_

Soon the trio were making their way to the Horaki residence. Hikari was sitting in the front as Misato drove for the first time at a reasonable pace. The only sounds heard were those from the engine as it labored to move them along in the darkness. From her vantage point she could see Shinji as he quietly looked forward, his eyes piercing the night as if memorizing the route traveled. As she looked into his eyes, the tiny ember she saw in them earlier was still burning brightly.

Misato's words still echoed in her mind as she looked into Shinji's eyes. She could almost see how much he needed to be useful to someone, there was almost a silent sorrow buried in them. Hidden deep beneath the machine like glare and empty stare; given light only be that tiny ember that clung to its life and warmth against the cold emptiness around it. Waiting patiently as it searched for a purpose and reason to be; for someone or something to need him in some way.

Some part of her couldn't help but feel jealous of whomever or whatever he poured himself into. She'd seen how well Shinji preformed when he gave something his all and she couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to receive that kind of attention once in a while; remembering how passionate he could be when he applied himself to a task.

As they entered the housing block she lived in, she began to give more thought to taking a more active roll in interacting with Shinji. He seemed so much more alive as he prepared dinner, the way his eyes lite up as she enjoyed the meal he had prepared. How his eyes came alive when a happy sign escaped from within her as she tasted the first bite. How her cheeks burned when Misato told her that he liked her.

As the trio arrived at Hikari's residence, she wondered how her father would greet her when she walked through the door. He had no doubt of her sister's comments about being at her boyfriend's house. He had always been protective of his children like most fathers, but more so of his young girls. She wasn't sure how he'd react to meeting the boy since he no doubt believing that Hikari had been hiding the relationship.

As they reached her door, she saw her father waiting there for them. His hair was thinning as he creped closer to his fifties; it was graying around his ears and neck. A slight scowl was on his face as he watched them walking the last few meters. While she knew they were on time if not early, Hikari knew he was upset that she hadn't bothered to call and that he was no doubt worried.

As the group made there way inside, she listened as her father and commanding officer began talking. He once again asked Misato the questions he had asked her before, checking to see if the woman was covering up for his child. She sat down in one of the living room chairs, the mix of western and Japanese style furniture melded together nicely with the house.

It was somewhat larger then Shinji and Misato's and held a more elegant simplicity to it. Being both stylish and functional, yet having nearly no unnecessary objects that clashed with the simple design and setting that the room gave off. It was the same for the rest of Hikari's home; simple, graceful, and lively all at once. Giving those a sample view of the personalities of those who lived there.

As she sat there, basking in her thoughts. Hikari felt her older sister lean over her shoulder and whispered into her ear.

"Bringing him home to meet the family so soon," Kodoma teased. "You must really like him."

"It's... it's not like that. Misato and Shinji just wanted to make sure that I made home. That's all." Hikari answered back, blood filling her cheeks as she spoke.

"Hmm… perhaps," Kodama said, pausing a moment to move around to the other side of her sibling; her hot breath now washing over her sister's right ear as she continued "or perhaps not. Not that I blame you. He is rather handsome, maybe not as much as that ruffian Suzuhara, but a little more refined."

The elder Horaki watched as her sister's eyes locked on the boy; A wicked smile crossing her lips as she teased her younger sister some more. Oh how she loved play with her sister this way. Hanging a carrot in front her hungry eyes, watching as it tempted her sister cruelly. Enticing and teasing her till she couldn't stand it and acted. She knew that Hikari liked him, that she wanted to get closer to him. However, she knew that her sister was too shy to act on this. Well not without a little persuasion away.

"Hmm … to bad he's not a year or two older." Kodoma said, mock pouting "Otherwise I'd be tempted to go after him myself." Her grin grew she saw the hair on the back of her sister head rise. A sign she long ago recognized as a give away that she was making her sister jealous. "All that training, those long hours spent to strengthen and tone his body. He must look good enough to eat by now. Hmm… maybe I should go over there and introduce myself. He is a little young for me… but maybe I should go and…"

"No you won't!" Hikari interrupted, her face flushed as she turned to look her sister in the eye.

"Oh so your going to then? Well better hurry then, I don't know if I could wait and if I do, for how long." She replied looking into her sister's eyes seeing the fire in them. '_So predicable little sister_' Kodoma thought.

Hikari turned just in time to see her father close the door as he let the pair out. She knew what her sister was trying to do and kicked herself because she knew it was working; the image of his toned flesh grasping at her mind with determination, despite her best efforts to push them away.

"Oh … he got away." She heard her sister say pouting.

Hikari could almost feel her blood begin to boil at the thought of the two together. Shinji was hers and she won't let her sister take him away. A shiver ran up her spine as she realized what she had just told herself. How jealous she got at the thought of her sister with Shinji.

Kodama watched as her sister went to her room, smiling a little as Hikari gave her one last looked before disappearing into that sanctuary; one that contained so much more than her words could have. '_He is kind of cute though.' _She thought as she started to leave.

"Kodama." Her father began "It's not nice to tease your sister like that." He said, his voice carrying the displeasure he felt of them acting that way.

_- - -_

As Hikari lay down to sleep, the various images that had been implanted in her psyche started to come forward. Everything from Misato's teasing to her sister's implications filled her minds eye. As she tried to enshroud herself in sleep, they made their way to her subconscious mind before the darkness finally claimed her.

A/N - Hope your enjoyed this as much I did. I'd like to thank nick2951 for taking the time to pre-read and edit. His efforts have added a unique spice to this story. Till next time.


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